Matthew 25:14-30--- a new thought for me

Matthew 25:14-30

“Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them.  To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey.  The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

   “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them.  The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

  “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’  “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

 “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’  “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

  “‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

A few weeks ago our church hosted a women’s brunch. It was so great being surrounded by so many women of the same faith and meeting the different women who came to sit at the table with me.  However; the most impacting thing which I have been pondering now for a few weeks was the message which was shared.  Jana Liebe, our pastor’s wife was amazing and so thought provoking for me that I can honestly say it’s been a lesson I have now thought of at least once a day every day since the breakfast occurred.  I have heard the above scripture countless times and even heard it preached on by several, but for some odd reason this was the day the message really sank in.

I have been called to women’s ministry which I have known now for a while and am so excited about. (Yes I believe after my family it’s my number one calling) However, I was so confused because I felt I had also been called by God to be doing the other things in ministry which I am currently participating in.  I was lost feeling frustrated and torn because if I was to do one I always thought for some odd reason that meant I had to give up the current ones I was already doing. 

However, This is not the case. Jana was explaining that God gave some people more gifts (talents) to use than others.  She said if you look and see others who have lots of gifts we have to remember ‘they just have a longer to do list.’ This got me to thinking.  I was never envious of many people and the things which they were doing or how well they did them when they served. I always had the problem looking inside myself and seeing all these things I knew I could do but never knowing which one to pick or how to accomplish them. The point for me is I am not suppose to pick I am suppose to do them all.  God gave me several different gifts and I am to use them all and yes, they all in turn use my most prominent gift, the gift of gab.  Sure my list is longer than some others, to me it looks like my list is not short, and that is what scares me to death. I do not have a short list and yet sometimes I envy the people who do. It’s much easier to balance things out when God gave you only a few things to handle. I am not good at organizing the use of my time and yet in order for me to accomplish and use all the gifts God gave me, it means I am going to have to find a way to become more disciplined with the time He gives me each day.

I also know that just because I have all these different gifts does not mean that I have to use them all at the same time, but it also doesn’t mean I have to quit one to do another. I have been working in our children’s ministry team now for about 9 months and I love it. However, about 6 months ago I really felt a huge calling to become involved with women’s ministries. Since I have never felt so strongly and more passionate about a certain ministry I knew this was to be my main focus. However, I didn’t know how to give up doing something I love so much (children’s ministry) to the point that it started becoming hard for me to keep a positive attitude about serving anywhere because I was always feeling so torn.  Thankfully I’m starting to get a little clarity, knowing that if I trust God he is going to make sure my gifts, which He gave me, are all going to be used for his glory and I don’t have to worry about the details he will find a way for me to balance out all the things He’s called me to do.  Therefore in the end I can have peace of mind, heart, and soul knowing He’s in control and I can just let go and enjoy doing everything He’s calling me to do. I know if I stay open and willing and trust Him he’ll work out the details.

Remembering to be a Mary

At the Home of Martha and Mary

Luke 10:38042

 ³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

   ⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

How many times I find myself to be like Martha in this story, and how I long to be more like Mary. I many times get so focused on making sure I am serving, causing myself to run around much like I imagine Martha was doing, trying to prepare everything and working hard to make everything perfect, ‘for the Lord.’ When all Jesus really wants me to do is take a break from it all and sit at His feet and just spend time with him. 

I believe I should still be serving but I need to remember what the most important part of my relationship with Christ is, and it’s NOT the serving, it’s the spending time at Jesus feet.  I skip this step so often because I find myself running around trying to serve Christ that I forget to do what is most important and that is just relax at his feet, and listen to what He has to teach, let Him serve me and my needs.  I get so caught up in my preparations of everything I am doing to serve Christ that I even get frustrated at times when I look around and see others not so frustrated with serving and sometimes get upset because I see they are not serving. But how terrible of me to be judging them for their lack of running around acting wacky like I do. Many times I seem to forget that I should be looking at them and wanting to do what they are doing instead of wondering why they are not helping. They are the people who are taking the time to stop and listen to Jesus and I need to remember to be more like that as Jesus would say, “they have chosen what is better.”

I know I see to really be on a soap box the last few days about serving but I have really been challenged lately by God to search and find the true reasons for serving. Many times even if God has called me to serve I forget my purpose in serving is for His glory not my own, and in order for Him to be completely glorified I need to make sure I am taking time to stop and sit at Jesus feet and listen to what he has to say. Praying I can start to be a better listener to Jesus and keep remembering to take time to spend time with Him.

Volunteering

A few weeks ago I started feeling overwhelmed, upset and disgruntle by my life. I felt like I was being overworked.  When I sat to reflect on why I was feeling so low and even a little angry with God I realized I was blaming him for everything. I was feeling a sense that I wasn’t able to see my husband often enough, I felt like my kids were taking a back seat and I was feeling constantly like I couldn’t keep up.  Now I am a stay at home mom, so to me this shouldn’t be how I pictured life to be I thought hanging out with my kids would give me lots of time for them and my husband. However, I do a lot of volunteer work.  Many of you may say, “that is great, so what?  Or good for you someone needs to do it I don’t have the time I work.” The problem is that I loved it, I love volunteering. I was called to serve over a year ago within the kids ministry at our church.

However, I seemed to have joined many people in the confusion that is often found among people in the church who volunteer and give.  I give and then find myself giving more and more but not always because I feel God is calling me to do this, but I do it because I see a need is there and I feel like I should be responsible to be the one to fill the need. I don’t consult God first to make sure that open spot is really where He is calling me to help serve.  I am not saying everything I do is wrong I am just saying I think I have gotten caught up in the same motive many in the Christian church have who volunteer or give.  We always feel like we have to do it because no one else will. God has called us all to serve him in some way or another; there is no doubt in my mind of that as he gave all of us different gifts to use. However, I think many people forget how we are to serve and give.  2 Corinthians 9:7 “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  The word reluctant means, feeling or showing aversion, hesitation, or unwillingness. Most people including myself seem to go overboard with this part not being reluctant. Many people in the church who are giving of their time or money are very willing to do it and even can be cheerful about it, at least in the beginning.  But, before long I see many people becoming the way I was, volunteering for so much that they stop seeing the ultimate goal and point to serving which is to bring honor and glory to Jesus Christ. We should be serving because it’s what God has called us to do and we want to honor and bring glory to him through our actions, not because we feel compelled to do so.

 The next part of the verse, under compulsion, is many times where people who give end up getting sucked in. Compulsion by Webster’s dictionary is defined as:” an act of compelling, the state of being compelled, a force that compels, an irresistible persistent impulse to perform and act.”  When we serve because we feel the strain of others around us or see a huge need and we feel like we are the person for the job. We don’t realize that we are already doing enough or we are already doing what God has asked us to do and in turn taking on more takes away from what we were originally called by God to do. God doesn’t call us to do it all He calls each of us to just do the part he has assigned for us to do. I hear a lot in the area of the church where I volunteer that, ‘If we don’t do it no one will.” Really? Do we really believe that our God is that small minded that he only called a few of us to serve him? If we never leave areas of service open the people who were called by God to serve in those areas may never find their calling because we are too much in control to let them see their calling.  (This is more of a personal thing I am sharing but hope it helps others.)  If God hasn’t called me to serve, what then is my motive other than selfishness?  I have to step back and remember that there are other people out there who can do what I do and if God hasn’t called me to be doing the things which I am then I should step back so someone else can step up and reap the pleasure of serving God in the area they are called to do so. It takes the stress off of me, it opens me back up to be a cheerful giver of my time and I believe God will still bless me in the areas I am serving wither they are many areas or just one or two.

So after doing a lot of thinking, praying and soul searching I realized my anger at God should have been at myself for not making sure I was volunteering and giving where only He has called me to serve.  The more I am praying and relying on God the more I have started to realize in the last few weeks that my heart towards certain things are changing and even though there are areas of service which I enjoy, it does not mean I am called by God to serve in those ways and it’s taking away from His full glory in the areas he has called me to serve.  Thankfully He is gracious and again giving me chances and teaching me that it’s ok to step up to the new things He’s calling me to do, and gracefully step out of the areas which He has not called me into or is no longer calling me into.

Let God write and use your story

I have noticed that there are two types of women out there, women who think they are so flawed they are damaged forever and are constantly finding things wrong with themselves, or women who pretend that they are perfect and have no flaws.  I am in a women’s study and it is so fun to watch all of the girls in our study share and open up.  The study we are currently doing is the “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore, a great study for all women to go through.  It helps you find a way to find your real flaws, notice that you have them and find a way to break free from them in Christ knowing that we are a perfect creation no matter what our past and that no matter what we do, have done, are doing.  We can break free from the bondage we are held under by those sins and let go knowing God really can be our everything.  He is our strength, our humility and our peace when we ask him to be. They are a beautiful group of women, but when sitting there I have realized this that when we open up we are either the girl who ‘spills our guts thinking we are so flawed we have so much to fix and can’t find much good in ourselves,’ or we are the ‘strong type,’ and portray that their lives are perfect and they have no flaws. I love the girls in my group and by no means am I cutting either party down, I belong to the group that always has to find the flaws. I think most women are in that category as most of the girls open up they find more and more wrong.  But really this is not a strange thing since from day one girls are taught to look at themselves as something is wrong with them, they aren’t the Barbie doll they play with and think they should be. We grow up wanting people to desire us for all the wrong reasons. So, the first place we find flawed is something with our outward appearance.  When I was growing up I wanted to be thin like all my friends. I was never overly heavy but I was not a stick like many of my friends were and that was what I was always told was the ‘cute’ little girl. My hair was stick straight and I always had a little meat on my bones.  I grew up thinking that thin was the best thing, that in order to be pretty you should be a stick, wear makeup to cover up my ugly face and lets just say I was looking at myself the way many little girls do, which ends up making me feel like I am ugly. Ugly to a girl usually equals unworthy, terrible, not enough and we can never measure up to what everyone else wants us to be.  When we are older we then start focusing on our insides. We already have been focusing on the outside flaws we own for so long that we know exactly how to pick ourselves apart to find the flaws.  We tear ourselves apart inwardly and constantly compare ourselves to what we see in others. We want to portray that we are the girl who has the perfect figure, perfect face, perfect clothes and when we go to church we want to be the girl that everyone wants to be, with the perfect kids, perfect husband and perfect spiritual life. Since we aren’t that way we then think that there is a lot to fix, and sure there is a lot to fix we are only human. But what does God say about us? What does he really think? Isn’t that what should matter? We strive to have that perfect marriage when in all honesty the only perfect marriage is going to be that of Christ and his Bride. Saying you have a perfect marriage is like saying you are perfect and can walk on water.  Marriage is built on two people so even if you are perfect, trust me your spouse is not, and they shouldn’t be either they are only human. So each marriage has its ups and downs, each person has their own unique ups and downs in life and no one is perfect.  Even if people try and portray that they are always happy, always got it good and always have the right answers, in all honesty they don’t, unless they are Jesus Christ they can’t be.  But, no matter if they are perfect just remember, God is not comparing you to them He is comparing you to who he created you to be.  Psalm 139:13-14 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  God created all of us individually for a purpose and with a plan in mind for our lives. Our job is to live how God intended us to live, knowing that He allows us to go through our struggles and temptations and everything else that helps to make us flawed in our own little ways so we could one day learn from them, grow from what we learn and share what we have learned with others.  The next time you find someone you think seems to be perfect and have the perfect life just remember you have a story being written which will be effective for God( they do too they just have a different one). Which is easier to learn from, someone who has it all together just because they had a great life without a lot of problems or, do you learn better from someone who made those mistakes, has been on the rough roads, and can share the experiences with you to help you learn and grow? Personally I learn more from someone who shares a story than from the person who seems unflawed.  Those stories are many times what gives me hope that I am not alone and not a lost cause.  So I guess my point is to be thankful for the flaws, don’t ignore them ask God to help you conquer them and fix them, but don’t get down on yourself either because you have them. Be thankful for each and every flaw you have knowing that God has a purpose for what you are going through and trust that one day he is going to use your experience to let you help someone else get through their own set of flaws. May God be gentle with those who do not yet have a story to tell and may He use the ones who do have a story to glorify and bring honor to Himself to enhance His kingdom. God sees you as the perfect person He can use as long as you are open and willing to let Him use you and your story.

I want to leave a legacy

I'm the type of person that lives each day hoping that some day when I die I will be able to leave behind a legacy for the world to know. I want to be the one that my husband was more than proud to always call me his wife, the mother who the kids are excited to be able to call me mom, a friend to many who knew that I was a true friend and most of all I want more than anything to know that when God sees me here on earth and again when I reach heavens gates He is more than proud to call me, "my daughter, my obedient and faithful one." Life is full of its ups and downs but while living I hope I can find a way to enjoy them all knowing that God is making the ups for me to enjoy and the downs for me to learn and grow and also in the end enjoy.  I know I have a long road ahead of things to learn to become this person I want to be, but I know God created me with the purpose to fulfill those goals and dreams. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.'" Jeremiah 29:11 God knows why He designed me and I know it was for a purpose.  It's taken me a long time to find a purpose greater than my own selfish dreams, but now that I have found my purpose I intend to make each day count towards becoming the person I am wanting to be.