Have you ever met someone that is happy all the time? The person
that seems to be so happy that you would think they never had a bad day or ever
had anything truly bad happen to them?
The person that is so happy that sometimes you are so jealous about
their happiness and pure joy that you think it’s fake or you get irritated with
them? For me personally though I may
seem irritated with someone like that, but actually it’s me being irritated
with me not them. Deep down I wish I had their joy. When you ask them about
their contentment they answer so honestly that they of course have bad days, and
tempers and issues but you don’t believe them because they always seem so put
together. But the other truth that they will tell you is the fact that they are
so joyful with life in general because of the joy they get from Jesus.
For years this has bugged me. I mean truly to the depth of
my core it’s bugged me. It’s almost that thought process of how come God loves
them more than me that they are so content and I am not? The truth is I know
Jesus, he is a part of my life isn’t he?
So why can’t I have that joy, that peace that same happiness that they
have. And the answer is I can!
From the day I was born I was surrounded by “Christianity.”
I pretty much grew up in a church as soon as I was brought home from the
hospital. It was something I learned. I learned quickly at a very young age how
to play the game. The game of pleasing my parents and the people in the church.
I knew just the right things to say and do. I memorized scripture like it was
nobody’s business. I had more verses memorized by the time I was in second
grade than the average adult memorizes in their whole life. I was a pro at
playing the game of “Christianity.” But when I looked around most of the people
around me were doing the same thing. When in church on Sunday they played the part
of a holy person and the rest of the week, unless surrounded by their Christian
friends, they were no different than the rest of the world. Most of them if they did have joy I found out
were taking something on a regular basis to make them that way, little pills prescribed
to help their anxiety, depression and other issues go away. So I went along
with them all pretending on Sunday’s to be happy and full of Jesus love. I
became one of the best Christian game players of them all.
But the truth of it all is that I never found the true
contentment and happiness and joy that some Christians have actually
shown. It use to drive me nuts when
missionaries would come to our church and talk and they were so excited and
full of joy and all I was thinking was you
people are nuts to be so happy you could die in the world you live in! And then I would think things like maybe I should be a missionary so I can find
that happiness too. After all if I was a
missionary then God would really love me more and give me joy. All I knew
was I wanted what they had and I had no idea how on earth to get it.
After returning to the church a couple years ago and
surrendering my life back to Christ it was so easy for me to start playing the
game again. I got so frustrated with myself. I mean honestly I needed that real
joy I craved it! On occasion I had it and in the beginning it was all real I
had an inner peace most of the time. But soon playing the game took over.
About a year ago I started meeting some lovely
ladies in my church. And I mean they are lovely, not just in appearance but
they have what I wanted so badly. They have the joy, that peace and they are
truly content with their life. I started questioning again what it was that was
so different about me to them. They were happy, their lives seemed perfect, and
funny thing none of them are on drugs to make them happy. These girls seemed to just have it all
together and I LOVED IT!! Sure I can admit I was jealous of them all for being
so happy, and honestly I think it was a righteous jealousy. All of them are mommies with kids about the
same ages as my little ones and at first I started thinking, oh they are so fake, no one is really that
happy. But they were, they really
are that happy! They are that joyful and
they are that content with life! These are ladies that I look up to so much.
They have pure Godly joy. At first I
thought yah it’s easy to have that kind
of joy when your life is so perfect. But I started getting to know them.
They did not have perfect lives at all they had struggles like cancer and I knew
a couple of them as they went through miscarriages, something that honestly
would have made me not to long ago question God and my relationship with him.
But these girls still smiled and didn’t let their circumstances take away their
joy. These girls are seriously such a
blessing to my life as they have shown that their joy doesn’t come in their
circumstances but in the Lord. They aren’t perfect but they are real. They are
the real deal and I love that I get to hang out with them all. They are the
prime example to me of, “the joy of the Lord is my strength.”
The world tells me it's o.k to be negative and upset with things like my past and maybe even current circumstances I go through, but I don't want more excuses I just want pure, long lasting joy. I am still learning to keep the joy in my circumstances but
I am learning also how to keep the joy no matter my circumstances. It is not just ok to know that Jesus is there
and he died for me but to embrace the fact that no matter what I do he is going
to love me and accept me. But, in truth I knew this before what I also needed
was to make time to have a real relationship with God. It is really hard to know the Joy of the Lord
when you don’t actually know him! I am still working on the getting to know God
and trying to find joy no matter what is going on in my life or how stressful
my day may appear. It’s not a fake thing anymore it’s learning to trust God
knowing him and knowing that he can see me through every little detail of my
day all I need to do is trust him and stay with an open communication with him.
I use to use every excuse under the sun,
I have kids, when do I have time to do that? But the only way to keep a
relationship strong and growing with love with anyone God or man is to work for
it. If it’s really important to you to find joy you have to sometimes work for
it and after a while the work doesn’t feel like work it feels more like a
relaxing break you can get when talking with a friend over a cup of coffee.
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