Because I said so, That's why!

Years ago when I was growing up my dad had a shirt that said “Because I said so that’s why.” I hated when he use to use that phrase. Now that I am an adult and a parent I get the reasoning for saying it so much more.  My now three year old is always asking me, “why mommy?” or saying things like, “but I want too.”  In their three year old minds they want explanations and sometimes it gets really aggravating answering there constant why’s.  Sometimes the fact that I am the parent and I said so really is the only explanation I have, they should need no other reason.  And sometimes because it’s beyond their comprehension for why I am saying what I am it’s just easier to pull out the, “because I said so” phrase. 

How funny that many times I find myself questioning the God of the universe the same way. Why this or why that. For two years now I have really been doing a lot of questioning regarding why miscarriages happen, or sad things to babies and children, or my biggest questions that has often sent me into oodles of tears is “why did you take Per? Why did you make him suffer the majority of his life? Why, what was your purpose? What was the goal in forming such a sweet innocent boy only to put him through torture of cancer, not just once, not twice but three times? Seriously what was your purpose God? I have not been able to receive a real answer that has ever caused me peace.

Today I got a lot more peace don’t ask me why today but it was today.  While in church we were singing the song The Great I AM.  While singing the bridge to the song these following words really hit home,

The mountains shake before Him 
The demons run and flee 
At the mention of the name 
King of Majesty 
There is no power in hell 
Or any who can stand 
Before the power and the presence of the Great I am 
The Great I am The Great I am 
The Great I am The Great I am The Great I am

Great I am 
The Great I am The Great I am 
The Great I am The Great I am The Great I am 

As we were singing the first part of the song I was kind of in my own little mind having a private conversation with God once again asking him about Per and begging him to explain to me his reasoning for taking such a sweet life.  Then this song hit me like a hand upside the head.  I was talking with the Great I AM, the one and only God of the universe. Who was I to question him so bluntly like I have been the last two years? What made me think God should answer to me for all of the things He ordained for the world?  If mountains can shake and demons run and flee at the sound of his name and yet I have the audacity to stand before Him and question him as though he owed me an explanation?

The answer to my question was really one that I repeat on a daily basis to my three year old when I know he cannot understand my adult parenting decisions, “because I said so.”  Even though I believe God has a reason for all the things I find unfair that happens to babies and children in this world He does have a purpose for everything that happens under heaven.  Some of those reason I may never understand I just have to trust that he is the great and awesome I AM.