Years ago when I was growing up my dad had a shirt that said
“Because I said so that’s why.” I hated when he use to use that phrase. Now
that I am an adult and a parent I get the reasoning for saying it so much
more. My now three year old is always
asking me, “why mommy?” or saying things like, “but I want too.” In their three year old minds they want
explanations and sometimes it gets really aggravating answering there constant
why’s. Sometimes the fact that I am the
parent and I said so really is the only explanation I have, they should need no
other reason. And sometimes because it’s
beyond their comprehension for why I am saying what I am it’s just easier to
pull out the, “because I said so” phrase.
How funny that many times I find myself questioning the God
of the universe the same way. Why this or why that. For two years now I have
really been doing a lot of questioning regarding why miscarriages happen, or
sad things to babies and children, or my biggest questions that has often sent
me into oodles of tears is “why did you take Per? Why did you make him suffer
the majority of his life? Why, what was your purpose? What was the goal in
forming such a sweet innocent boy only to put him through torture of cancer,
not just once, not twice but three times? Seriously what was your purpose God?
I have not been able to receive a real answer that has ever caused me peace.
Today I got a lot more peace don’t ask me why today but it
was today. While in church we were
singing the song The Great I AM. While singing the bridge to the song these
following words really hit home,
The mountains shake before Him
The demons run and flee
At the mention of the name
King of Majesty
There is no power in hell
Or any who can stand
Before the power and the presence of the Great I am
The Great I am The Great I am
The Great I am The Great I am The Great I am
Great I am
The Great I am The Great I am
The Great I am The Great I am The Great I am
The demons run and flee
At the mention of the name
King of Majesty
There is no power in hell
Or any who can stand
Before the power and the presence of the Great I am
The Great I am The Great I am
The Great I am The Great I am The Great I am
Great I am
The Great I am The Great I am
The Great I am The Great I am The Great I am
As we were
singing the first part of the song I was kind of in my own little mind having a
private conversation with God once again asking him about Per and begging him
to explain to me his reasoning for taking such a sweet life. Then this song hit me like a hand upside the
head. I was talking with the Great I AM, the one and only God of the
universe. Who was I to question him so bluntly like I have been the last two
years? What made me think God should answer to me for all of the things He
ordained for the world? If mountains can
shake and demons run and flee at the sound of his name and yet I have the audacity
to stand before Him and question him as though he owed me an explanation?
The answer to
my question was really one that I repeat on a daily basis to my three year old
when I know he cannot understand my adult parenting decisions, “because I said
so.” Even though I believe God has a
reason for all the things I find unfair that happens to babies and children in
this world He does have a purpose for everything that happens under
heaven. Some of those reason I may never
understand I just have to trust that he is the great and awesome I AM.
