I am not James Holmes judge

Last night while I was lying in bed trying to drift myself off to sleep I was praying. It started off as a seriously innocent prayer.  While praying I started thinking about the victims in Colorado who had their lives taken away or changed dramatically by James Holmes. I started thinking about the news report I had heard earlier in the day how a mother had lost her 6 year old daughter to this man and how while the mother was in the hospital suffered a miss carriage as well and was probably paralyzed. I was so upset just thinking about it and thinking of her suffering and how I hoped and prayed that this man who caused her so much grief would be tortured and killed.  I know it was a horrible thought! But, how many of us have already thought this? How many of us when we heard this reacted in our hearts pretty much the same way?

Now, as I said in the beginning, this all started off as a prayer and my mind had wondered a bit.  But God brought me right back to my knees. I had judged this man and it wasn’t even my place. Who is to say this man should die for his crimes? Sure he did a horrific thing that in human eyes is so unforgivable that most of us would agree with my thoughts and want this man dead and now! and send him straight to hell while you are at it!  But that is not how the God of the universe feels about this man at all. Funny thing, he died for ALL SIN and not just the little ones.  Jesus didn’t come to save those who were healthy but sinners to repentance.

I was very humbled when I realized that God was upset with my heart and what I had thought about this man. In my heart I was no better than the man who had killed the victims as I was hoping and praying for a death for him.  But God, He doesn’t want him dead. He wants him saved! Imagine that the God of the universe who loves me also loves this man, just as much as he loves me.

I laid there a little perplexed with my thoughts. First wondering how God could love someone like that and then of course this verse came to mind, “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners- of whom I am the worst.” I Timothy 1:15 Paul already admitted to being the worst of all sinners and Jesus Christ saved and loved him and gave him such a ministry for the cause of Christ that we view him as one of the greatest Christians who ever lived, a saint. Yet if you look back Paul probably killed way more Christians than the man in the movie theater shot people.  Paul killed Christians on purpose and it wasn’t just a few of them, he was out to destroy them all!  But, no matter how many people he killed Jesus loved him anyways and used him in more ways than Paul himself could have imagined.

After my first thoughts of wondering how God could love him and realized how and why he loved him just as much as he did me the next thought was so humbling. I laid there and prayed until I fell asleep asking God to find someone to send into this man, James Holmes, life who knew about Jesus Christ.  Even if this man gets the life sentence you never know the plans God has for him while he is in prison and the people he may still affect in the days to come.

I think this is true for all the men and women in this world that we find ‘evil.’ If we were to pray for their salvation instead of praying for revenge our world could truly change. I bet when we get to heaven we find out that there were Christians who were praying for Paul’s heart to be one for Christ. Those who seem to have the biggest heart to be against us if turned could be the biggest heart for the cause of Christ.  It’s time to get on our knees and pray for the lives of the people we find terribly evil and unforgivable.

 And also I know for me I need to keep praying for a heart that is of Christ and not of normal human nature so that I do not judge the people that only God should be judging. I pray for a heart full of Christ love that I do not see other's sin just a heart needing to be filled with Christ love.