Sometimes life is just straight up hard. It’s hard to find
ways to balance out the routines of life. Lately I have been really struggling
with finding the balance I need for my kids and for my husband. I may be a stay
at home mom but lately all I want to do is sleep, get sick and eat which makes
me even more unable to motivate myself to find the perfect balance. But, even
when I don’t have those things going on I have a hard time finding that perfect
balance of getting stuff done, running errands, volunteering time and the like.
I know so many times I focus mostly on my kids. I worry that
I need to spend more time with them. I worry that I am being too strict or too
mean or sometimes too gentle. I want to find the balance in there for them and
be the best mom I can be. I focus on this a lot. I read blogs, devotionals, and
other people’s thoughts on good ways to be an ‘awesome’ mom to my kids. Many times I even try to look up what the
Bible says regarding children and raising them.
I know there is nothing wrong with that. But I am starting
to realize that part of finding that perfect balance should also lie in finding
ways to be the ‘awesome wife.’ I know since I have become a mom my poor husband
many times gets put on the back burner so to speak so that I can focus my
attention on being a good mom. The
reality of it is that I wouldn’t be a mom to any of my kids had I not married
their father.
Though being a mom is a super awesome and rewarding I think
that being a wife could also end up being just as awesome and just as rewarding
if not more so. I know God made marriage to be something so unique and special
to be shared between us and yet most days I don’t even work on my marriage. I
don’t look for ways to be a better wife. I don’t read blogs on marriage very
often and I don’t do a ton of devotional stuff on my own to find out how to be
a good wife.
I get so jealous when I hear guys talk about their wives and
how awesome they think their wife is. They don’t even have to say those words
there the guys that have been married for a few years and are still madly in
love with their wife and know she is just straight up wonderful to them and
every time they talk about her you know they think the world of her. It just
oozes from their conversations whenever she comes up. Or when reading the Bible and I read things like
how Sarah was a woman of old who was a godly wife and was such a good woman, I
get a little jealous but I think it’s in a good way. I don’t get that I dislike
them feelings I get the, I want to be them jealousy problem. How are they so
good at being a wonderful wife? What are
their secrets? Don’t get me wrong I have
heard my husband tell me thousands of times he thinks I am amazing and awesome
but the truth is I know I could be so much better to him and for him than what
I am.
So lately I have been searching to find ways to be more the
way I think God intended me to be as a wife. I have a long way to go to be even
close to some of the women in this world that I find to be godly Christian
wives and great examples, but at least I think I am on the path to getting
there. I have always desired to be like the woman found in Proverbs 31 but I
guess I just thought it would come natural. In all honesty I know now it is
going to take more than just a miraculous switch, it’s going to take a lot of
work.
There are three things I am really trying to work on
remember to do to try and improve my marriage and make my husband happy and all
around successful as much as I can help.
1)
Lift him up instead of tearing him down. This means when we are in private as well as
when I am discussing things about him with others. After all he is a great man
and has so much talent and potential. I
am usually the one to find the faults and let him know what all of them are but
instead of finding faults I need to find positives and help him work and focus
on those. I am trying to encourage him in all aspects of his life.
2)
React slower. I am known for having a big mouth
and a huge opinion and I am not one to usually keep it to myself for longer
than a half a second. This is far from
easy for me but it’s something that I am trying to learn to do both for my life
in general but also for my husband as the poor guy gets bombarded with this
problem of mine more than anyone I know.
3)
When all else fails I use my children to help me
out. I know that I want both of my boys to grow up and marry Godly wonderful
women who adore them. So, I try to think of how I should set an example for the
kind of wife they should look for in the future.
I know there are so many other
ways to be a better more godly wife but this is where I start. I am not saying
it’s perfect or fool proof because it’s not. But it does help to remain focused
on knowing that I have set goals for myself to improve and grow in my marriage.
I am hoping to some day when I die have God be proud of the legacy I left
behind for other wives to follow. But, even if at the end the only person who
ever cared was my husband I will still feel successful in having completed my
job as his wife.
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