Volunteering

A few weeks ago I started feeling overwhelmed, upset and disgruntle by my life. I felt like I was being overworked.  When I sat to reflect on why I was feeling so low and even a little angry with God I realized I was blaming him for everything. I was feeling a sense that I wasn’t able to see my husband often enough, I felt like my kids were taking a back seat and I was feeling constantly like I couldn’t keep up.  Now I am a stay at home mom, so to me this shouldn’t be how I pictured life to be I thought hanging out with my kids would give me lots of time for them and my husband. However, I do a lot of volunteer work.  Many of you may say, “that is great, so what?  Or good for you someone needs to do it I don’t have the time I work.” The problem is that I loved it, I love volunteering. I was called to serve over a year ago within the kids ministry at our church.

However, I seemed to have joined many people in the confusion that is often found among people in the church who volunteer and give.  I give and then find myself giving more and more but not always because I feel God is calling me to do this, but I do it because I see a need is there and I feel like I should be responsible to be the one to fill the need. I don’t consult God first to make sure that open spot is really where He is calling me to help serve.  I am not saying everything I do is wrong I am just saying I think I have gotten caught up in the same motive many in the Christian church have who volunteer or give.  We always feel like we have to do it because no one else will. God has called us all to serve him in some way or another; there is no doubt in my mind of that as he gave all of us different gifts to use. However, I think many people forget how we are to serve and give.  2 Corinthians 9:7 “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  The word reluctant means, feeling or showing aversion, hesitation, or unwillingness. Most people including myself seem to go overboard with this part not being reluctant. Many people in the church who are giving of their time or money are very willing to do it and even can be cheerful about it, at least in the beginning.  But, before long I see many people becoming the way I was, volunteering for so much that they stop seeing the ultimate goal and point to serving which is to bring honor and glory to Jesus Christ. We should be serving because it’s what God has called us to do and we want to honor and bring glory to him through our actions, not because we feel compelled to do so.

 The next part of the verse, under compulsion, is many times where people who give end up getting sucked in. Compulsion by Webster’s dictionary is defined as:” an act of compelling, the state of being compelled, a force that compels, an irresistible persistent impulse to perform and act.”  When we serve because we feel the strain of others around us or see a huge need and we feel like we are the person for the job. We don’t realize that we are already doing enough or we are already doing what God has asked us to do and in turn taking on more takes away from what we were originally called by God to do. God doesn’t call us to do it all He calls each of us to just do the part he has assigned for us to do. I hear a lot in the area of the church where I volunteer that, ‘If we don’t do it no one will.” Really? Do we really believe that our God is that small minded that he only called a few of us to serve him? If we never leave areas of service open the people who were called by God to serve in those areas may never find their calling because we are too much in control to let them see their calling.  (This is more of a personal thing I am sharing but hope it helps others.)  If God hasn’t called me to serve, what then is my motive other than selfishness?  I have to step back and remember that there are other people out there who can do what I do and if God hasn’t called me to be doing the things which I am then I should step back so someone else can step up and reap the pleasure of serving God in the area they are called to do so. It takes the stress off of me, it opens me back up to be a cheerful giver of my time and I believe God will still bless me in the areas I am serving wither they are many areas or just one or two.

So after doing a lot of thinking, praying and soul searching I realized my anger at God should have been at myself for not making sure I was volunteering and giving where only He has called me to serve.  The more I am praying and relying on God the more I have started to realize in the last few weeks that my heart towards certain things are changing and even though there are areas of service which I enjoy, it does not mean I am called by God to serve in those ways and it’s taking away from His full glory in the areas he has called me to serve.  Thankfully He is gracious and again giving me chances and teaching me that it’s ok to step up to the new things He’s calling me to do, and gracefully step out of the areas which He has not called me into or is no longer calling me into.