Saturday, November 17, 2012

Comparison leads us to negativity


Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, because God has said, “I will never leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Have you ever notice how unhappy you leave yourself feeling after looking around at what other people have compared to what you don’t have? It is a deadly trap too. It is so normal in our American way of life to have “THE AMERICAN DREAM!” You want the boat, the house, the nice cottage on the lake, the hot spouse, the awesome kids that are tops in everything, the best looks, the nicest and newest of all cars, a great job that you are valued in and appreciated. The list goes on and on and on. We don’t even remember we want half of those things until we realize someone else has them or has it better.
We are all guilty of it. We look around notice our friends kid is a straight A student while our kid is average. We were proud of them till that moment when we realized someone else’s kid just beat ours. Or you are so thankful when we buy a house for the first time. But, then you have a friend who bought a new house too but they sold their last one in order to upgrade to something way bigger and better than you can afford. Or your marriage, you think it’s going good, till we notice that someone else’s husband dotes on them so much more than our own husband does on us, they must be even more in-love with each other than you are with your spouse.
It’s the worst game to play and the worst mind set to get into and a hard one to break. We feed our need for self pity. At first we say we look so we can see where we can improve. Like with our marriage for instance. We think we have a good marriage going on but as soon as we see Mrs. Brown’s husband treating her so much better, we start questioning if we have a good marriage at all. Am I failing in my marriage as a wife that I need to improve in order to make my husband treat me the way Mrs. Brown’s husband treats her? Where do I fall short?  Why doesn’t he do those things for me? We start running questions through our minds of our not being good enough, first it’s our fault that we have done something wrong.  Then we move on to blaming our spouse thinking it’s his fault and he has a problem with you and he needs to step it up a bit. We get caught comparing all the time and then letting it take our minds to a level that we never really wanted it to be on.
Or if you aren’t married the scenario can play out differently of looking at another person’s life and thinking how happy they are because they are married. All of the sudden when you were perfectly content being single and doing your own thing walking with God in the world and not caring if you were married or not you start wanting the same thing  your friend has, a spouse, because it makes her so happy.
Either way we find ways to make ourselves unhappy by comparing what we have and can afford to what those around us have and start feeling like we don’t have what it takes to make us happy. We forget to find happiness in what we do have. We forget to be happy with the car we have, thankful it gets us from point A to point B. Thankful that we are not living on the street even if we don’t own a home. Thankful for our kids being able to even attend school and learn to read and write and communicate properly so that one day they can grow up and have an equal shot at a good job.  Thankful we have a husband who loves us and our kids and is striving to be there for us each day.  When we look around we see what we don’t have and question how everyone else around us is so blessed forgetting where we came from is not the same place as where they came from and that we too have been blessed in so many ways.
God does not want us to live in misery like this all the time. Sure he wants us to make sure we are doing things his way and measuring up to his standards for our lives, but he does not want us looking around coveting what others have and wishing for better. He doesn’t want us wondering around depressed because we think someone else’s life might be better.  He wants us to be satisfied with the life he gave us and be satisfied in his loving arms. He doesn’t love the person down the street anymore than he loves you or me.  We have to choose to look at what we have and be thankful for everything. It is a season to be thankful and there are so many things big and small we have been blessed with that we are to be thankful for. Being content with what you have brings you a life full of joy and happiness.
 I choose to be thankful. I choose to stop looking at others and measuring myself up to their successes and failures. I choose to let God be my everything and know all things are a blessing from Him to me.  I deserve none of them but am so thankful He saw fit to give them to me. God loves me, won’t leave me, won’t forsake me and holds me in the palm of His hand. He does not hold me any higher or lower or tighter than other people I have chosen to compare myself too. 

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