Just relax! If I've heard this once I've heard it a 1000 times since I have had my first child. I am not one prone to relaxing when it comes to my kids. I want to be on top of everything they do making sure they are safe, that their feelings aren't being hurt and that they also in turn are being purely gentle and nice to everyone they meet. I am sure part of it was how I was raised coming out in my parenting style. Hoping that my children don't embarrassed me and do something I don't like, basically asking them at such a young age to be perfect.
I have over the last couple months really been praying about my parenting style. I want my children to feel free to be who they are, not feel like they are being watched so closely that they are not allowed to screw up or make their own mistakes without being in trouble or making me mad. I want my children happy and most of all I want to please God through my parenting as it is a huge job he has blessed me with. I have prayed several times for God to start showing me more and more how He would like me to parent these children He has blessed my husband and I with, after all they are not really mine but His.
Today as I was reading through Romans 12 I came across these verses: Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace he has given us. (Romans 12: 4-6)
Now this is one of my favorite lines in the Bible to use regarding the fact that we are all individuals and we all have different talents and we should use them according to the purpose God designed them for. However, how true would this be as well for applying to parenting. My children are different then me, they are part of the body in my individual home called my family. I did not enjoy my parents when it seemed like they wanted me to focus on growing up the way they wanted me too instead of letting me feel free to explore and find who I was created to be. God designed my children to not be me, but to be someone completely different than me. This means even to the point that I may not understand some of who they are or what they do. But my job is not to remove the parts of them that I don't understand but to embrace them and accept them and let them learn and grow.
When thinking about it do I really expect my children to be perfect? No, but I do think I try many times to form them more to what I think they should be and should be acting like instead of letting them learn a little on their own, and learn to be themselves which is obviously going to be someone way different than I am.
Does this mean when they do something wrong that I shouldn't discipline them? Obviously not! It does mean that just because they do something I may not like, doesn't mean it's wrong. I have to sit back now before reacting, which is not the easiest thing to do, and evaluate in my brain is it wrong or just different from my way of thinking? The point with parenting isn't making sure we raise perfect little children, but to make sure we raise individuals free to be who God created them to be and encourage them, no matter how weird we think they may be at the time, to advance in who they are but still placing those safe boundaries for them so they know what is personality and being and individual and what is actually wrong. So the truth is yes, relax and enjoy the moments with the children I have been blessed with and enjoy the moments they feel free to express themselves and form to who they are suppose to be.
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